So much time

Quarantine is a great opportunity to do, yet I feel stuck in place.

Writing is one of the ways I connect with myself and try to connect with the world. I value the truths that I don’t even realize until I put them on paper.

Sometimes I don’t know what to write. Initially quarantine provided me with a wealth of topics because it’s something I’m familiar with that’s new to the world. A few weeks in and I’m still not able to teach classes, work with my mentees or set up for programs. Without the activities that recharge me I feel like I’m running on empty.

I’m still keeping to my schedule. I’m meditating and exercising and connecting with others. I feel good most days. I enjoy the sunrises and give thanks before I go to bed each night.

So maybe what I’m feeling isn’t wrong after all. Maybe we’re allowed to have breaks in productivity and focus. Maybe we’re allowed to grieve softly and be numb. Maybe this is all the way it’s supposed to be and we’re supposed to learn from this too.

I long to get out and run around. I long to sit with people I love. I can’t do that right now but I can focus on the connections and joys I do have.

Everything special happens in the now. Whether it’s watching a beautiful sunrise or hugging a friend, the rest of the world slips away. So, instead of focusing on what we don’t have, we can try to bring that attention and fullness to everything around us, choosing to make everything we do special.

This is a new moment. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. We’re all just doing out best, and that’s ok